Hi sister! Welcome back to another episode of a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, you know I love you!
Sisters, I don’t think I’ll have to sell you too hard on this episode. It’s filled with the juiciest nuggets of wisdom that will have you rethinking your relationship with sex, your body, and your capacity for pleasure. We’re stripping away what’s false, and we’re bringing in a new paradigm and a new way of experiencing our amazing sexual energy.
We’re able to do this because of our commitment to our growth and to our healing. It’s inevitable that a woman on a spiritual path will eventually begin to question traditional notions of sexuality. As we unpack the effects of the patriarchy, we reclaim our sovereignty. Our bodies have been both objectified and vilified, placed on billboards and magazine covers. Between being judged and sexualized, we’ve internalized a lot of damaging ideas about ourselves. But we’re going to unpack that now.
Today I am super psyched to talk with Bibi Brzozka, a radiant Goddess whose mission is to liberate women’s capacity to receive pleasure, own their power, and experience incredible orgasms.
In this episode, you’ll learn how Bibi’s journey from unconscious to conscious sexuality mirrors so many other women’s paths, maybe even yours. We’ll dive into the metaphysical and spiritual aspects of the breasts, how women get aroused (according to tantric teachings), and how you can incorporate sacred sexuality into your life, whether you’re partnered or single. Are you in? Let’s get started!
Who Is Bibi Brzozka?
Bibi Brzozka is a coach, teacher, and motivational speaker specializing in what she calls Energetic Lovemaking, based on Tantric practices. Her passion for teaching women to experience full-body orgasms and breasts orgasms is only one piece of a larger goal — to connect women to the creative power and emotional joy that stems from embodied, conscious sexuality. She teaches courses for women and couples, including the tantalizing Ladder to Bliss in Bed and Beyond.
Bibi’s work is incredibly deep and potent, stemming from her own experiences going from being dissatisfied in a corporate lifestyle to redesigning her life around spirituality, tantra, and pleasure. She liberates women to be true to themselves and unapologetic about self-love, self-esteem, and self-care. I absolutely loved connecting with her.
Conscious Sexuality vs. Unconscious Sexuality
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I’m all about high-vibe sexuality, releasing any shame that’s wrapped up in our womb space, and treating our bodies as the creative powerhouses that they are. So I was totally on board with Bibi’s discussion about sacred sexuality. And I was also not at all surprised when Bibi described her path. Like many if not most women, Bibi started off engaging in unconscious sexuality before she woke up to what was possible.
“I was living in New York, and I was living a Sex and the City life. And I was … using a lot of alcohol as a social lubricant. I was allowing men that were not conscious inside of my body. I was allowing shallow interactions. I was allowing situations where I was not honored as a woman. I was searching for validation. I was searching for instant gratification/pleasure/fun at all times.” – Bibi Brzozka
Sisters, we’ve been so conditioned and confused by social messaging. On the one hand, it’s wonderful that we were liberated to experience sex any way we want, without being married or having approval from society. On the other hand, we’re given distorted messaging around our worth. Many of us still put other people’s needs ahead of our own needs. Every woman I know has struggled at some point to uphold or even know her own boundaries. We’re still healing from ancestral female wounding, from our own wounding, and when we have sex with those who are not honoring us, this reinforces the wounds.
What about you? Where have you allowed someone inside your body when you weren’t ready for them? When did you compromise yourself to make someone else happy? Where did you numb out instead of being present? This isn’t to make you feel bad…we’ve all done it, and there’s absolutely no shame in it. We just know better now.
It’s only natural that those of us on the conscious path start looking at conscious sexuality. And Bibi agrees.
“I always say, once you embark on that awareness journey … once you’ve started with meditation and your thoughts and your beliefs and your behaviors and reactions, then you move on to … people you surround yourself with. Then you will notice, okay, what places am I in? What am I eating? What am I drinking? And then … at some point you will also get to the sexuality, right? Who am I allowing inside of my body?” – Bibi Brzozka
Are you ready to see what high-vibe sexuality can do for you? I hope you are.
Self-Love Through Self-Pleasure
So if letting people who don’t honor you into your physical body is unconscious sexuality, what is conscious sexuality? If numbing out and escaping through physical connection is mindless sexuality, what would it look like to be mindful? And if gaining validation through being sexy is unhealthy, what positive alternatives replace it? Bibi had some ideas.
First, you’ll want to reconnect with your body by pleasuring yourself. And when you’re pleasuring yourself, you need to explore new ways of approaching it — meaning new intentions. So what intentions do you have around pleasuring yourself? Bibi shared how this looks for people.
“How you do anything is how you do everything. How you make love to yourself is going to set the tone of your love of making with your partners. If you’re fast and furious, if you’re just running towards the end goal, … if you just want to jerk off, … just want to have instant gratification, … [if] that’s how you make love to yourself, … then that’s the style of lovemaking that you’re going to probably … bring to bed with a partner as well.” – Bibi Brzozka
So just be aware of your intention. Maybe one day you really do just want to release stress, and that’s ok. But is there a way that you can also bring some other concepts into the equation? What would that look like for you? Bibi discussed some ideas.
“What about if we take the orgasm out of the equation? And what about if we self-pleasure in order to feel love or in order to experience pleasure in our body? Or what about if we self-pleasure in order to explore new places in our body or in order to heal,or in order to go into a higher state of consciousness and meditative state or in order to manifest something, like in sex magic. So there are so many different ways … of approaching the whole act of self-love.” – Bibi Brzozka
She also emphasized the power of presence.
“Are you really present? Are you present with your body? Are you present with the sensations in your body? Again, this will translate to how you are with a partner, right? Are you honoring your body? Women, are you really loving your body? So many women are insecure about their bodies. So many women don’t love the way they dress. Look … we often crave the loving sensual touch from a partner. Yet we are not giving this type of touch to ourselves. And so being present with your own body, honoring it, touching yourself the way you would like your partner to touch you because our own touch can be healing can be loving, can be sensual.” – Bibi Brzozka
How many of us have had obligation sex, or rushed sex, or sex that just doesn’t feel good to us? And how habitual is it to check out when this is happening? Can you find ways to slow down and be with the sensations in your body? What would that look like for you? What would it feel like?
Bibi shared that giving yourself the time and space to explore this is so important for increasing our capacity for pleasure and connecting to our sacred sexuality. But for those of us in partnerships, we may fear that our partners will be threatened by this. So how do you bring this up with a partner? How do you let your partner know what’s happening for you, why it’s important, and why you need space and time for this? I asked Bibi, and here was her answer.
“You can say ‘I realized that I have been disconnected from my body and to be fully present with you during lovemaking, … I first need to be truly present with myself. And I wanted to dedicate some time to explore that. And it would mean so much to me if you would allow me that exploration because I think this is something [that] can also both benefit [from]. … But it really starts with me. It is my responsibility and it is my curiosity, … and how it will look like is that you give me a space of one hour a week where I can really be intimate and feel safe and can fully drop in. … That would mean a lot to me.”– Bibi Brzozka
Sisters, you have so much to gain from having these conversations. Bring a bit of play to them, give your partner some context, and it will lighten the mood right up. So instead of saying “I need an hour a week to masturbate alone” and leaving it at that, let your partner know why. Once they understand what you’re doing, I hope they’ll be on board with letting you go deeper with yourself so you can then go deep together.
Breasts as the Gateway to the Heart Chakra
Now let’s get to the juiciest stuff! Bibi had some amazing insights into the beautiful organs our breasts are. What they truly are versus what society has made them out to be is truly upsetting. And the consequences — such as low self-esteem, body image issues, plastic surgery, and illness — are heartbreaking.
But first, why are breasts more than mere playthings for men or child-rearing tools?
“In tantra, [we call the breasts] a positive pull for a woman. So this is really her power center, next to the second chakra and the third eye. These [are her] antennas to the world. This is how we go out into the world. If you enter a room as a woman, what enters the room first? … Her breasts, right? This is a portal to love because this is the closest erogenous zone to the heart. This is also such a powerful doorway to orgasmic experiences because really the doorway for truly orgasmic magical experiences for a woman — it’s her heart and her breasts. And we kind of scape going down straight to the genitals, but it’s this part of the body that needs to be open.”– Bibi Brzozka
It’s so beautiful that our sexuality is linked to our heart space. What does that mean for you? How do your feelings impact your ability to feel turned on? Have you experienced feeling turned off because your emotions weren’t in alignment with love, safety, and peace? What would help you feel more open in your heart space?
Bibi went on to describe some even more tantalizing and fascinating information. The breasts are deeply linked to sexual pleasure throughout a woman’s body.
“The nipples are connected, number one, to the vagina where we lubricate. So the lubrication increases. And number two to the endocrine system. So we release oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. And number three, to the same part of the brain that enables orgasm. … [It] literally allows us to have an orgasm. … And it’s exactly the same part of the brain that lights up when we stimulate the clitoris or G-spot.” – Bibi Brzozka
Wow, that’s incredible. Have you experienced this yourself? Do you find that you’re more turned on when a partner pays attention to your breasts? Can you practice connecting to your breasts and heart space during self-pleasure? Can you ask your partner to put focus on them?
In contrast to this beautiful understanding of our breasts, Bibi shared what most women (and our society) think about them. We view them as not sexy enough. We view them as something to be judged or to get likes on social media. As a way to be validated through male attention.
Then our societies judge them as bad when we use them for breastfeeding. So on the one hand, we’re encouraged to expose them to gain sexual attention. On the other hand, we’re shamed for taking care of our children with them. Worst of all, many women put themselves at risk because of this.
“I’ve been interviewing several women with implant illness … where they have never been informed by the doctors before the implants were installed about the side effects. They ended up being depressed, [with] lower energy, [feeling] foggy, and [having] headaches for years. And no one even knew what was going on, … all of them said [that] they regretted [the] decision. They went through hell.” – Bibi Brzozka
Wow, that’s tragic. Bibi also shared that, since the breasts are sensitive antennae and pick up information, they also hold a lot of other people’s energies. Which some people believe can lead to disease, even to cancer. I know I’ve seen this myself, in my own family. Women who all got breast cancer and all had the experience of realizing that they’d been taking on other people’s stuff for years and never working on their own. While of course there are genetic and environmental factors, I absolutely believe that emotions can be stored in the body and build up as disease.
Breast Orgasms and Tantric Sexuality
Ok, so you might be thinking “All of this is great, but when do we get to the breast orgasm part?!” I’m with you sisters. I was so excited that Bibi shared some of her tips around whether breast orgasms are possible (they are) and how we can achieve them
“I just love breast simulation, and I can be with a lover and just have breast massages and breast orgasms for hours. And I don’t even need to go into penetration. And I’m so open, and I’m so turned on … just observe what happens once you start playing with this area of your body.” – Bibi Brzozka
Bib explained that you only need to practice for a little bit each day. So even just 30 seconds each day or a few minutes each day. You can do it in the shower, in bed, whenever you can. Of course, it’s always a great idea to set sacred space when and how you can, turning it into a beautiful self-love and self-pleasuring ritual. I’d say bring in some beautiful music and candles. You can then try some of Bib’s moves.
“One of my favorite moves, I call it cap and turn. … You just cap your breasts and do small circles, both directions. You can play with a different speed and you can play with a different pressure. There’s a lot of different ways to play with your breasts. I would also just simply start exploring, in different ways and see what works for you. You can do circles, you can do bouncing. You can do a little bit of pinching, not my favorite, but some women like it. … You can do infinity shapes. So just really doing things differently than you normally do and exploring and seeing what works.” – Bibi Brzozka
Bib explained that increasing your sensitivity will happen over time, and if you work up to it, can eventually lead to amazing breast orgasms and emotional releases. Since I’m very aware of how sexuality impacts our entire beings, I asked her how these changes impact her clients’ overall lives.
“What essentially happens is that, once you start to love yourself, once you realize you are an orgasmic being, you are enough, you are sexy, .. .you kind of become freer, more expressed, more authentically yourself, more fearless, essentially more creative. Because once we start moving that sexual energy of creation and we move it up, it becomes the creative energy. So we are also more creative. And since we are more fearless and unapologetically ourselves, it’s like a whole new world opens up. Women in my courses shared [that they’re] attracting new partners, attracting new conscious lovers, getting new jobs, starting new businesses, becoming more magnetic and radiant.”– Bibi Brzozka
Oh my god, yes. Sign me up for more bliss tips with Bibi. You can follow her on Insta, check out her website, and work with her in courses, one-on-one coaching, workshops, and retreats in her home base of beautiful Tulum, Mexico.
Remember, I love you. I see you. Cheers to giving yourself the pleasure and power you deserve. And remember — Always choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not?
In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- Bibi’s take on the word abundance
- What led Bibi to shift from a false pleasure lifestyle into true aligned pleasure
- How to start leaning into and healing your sexuality
- Why self-pleasure is so important and how to change your perspective around this topic
- What are some different ways to approach masturbation more intentionally
- How self-pleasure impacts sexual connection with your partner
- Some tips to help you navigate the conversation with your partner around self-intimacy
- What is a breast orgasm and the magic our breasts hold
- Navigating through the conditioning of what breasts are for and the findings behind implant illness
- Learning to connect to your breast and beginner tips to start your exploration
- The benefits of doing the work around self-love and self-pleasure
- What happens to your energy when you’re sexually liberated