Hi sister! Welcome back to another episode of a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, you know I love you!
At this point in my career, I’ve coached thousands of brilliant, beautiful women. I’m grateful to have touched the lives of so many souls. In all cases, my clients are sources of inspiration. In some cases, they become not only teachers in their own right but wonderful friends. My latest guest is one such friend.
I have a long history with Abby Schultz, and I’ve come to know her as an expert in finding grace within the pivot. Our path of ascension is never, ever straight! There are endless changes as we undergo ego deaths, let go of attachment to personality traits we’ve always clung to, and constantly reshape how we engage with the world. We can never go back in time, so what happens when we find ourselves feeling like we’re on the wrong path? Does that mean we’re doing something wrong — that we can never find our way back?
If you look at Abby’s medicine, you will know the answer is absolutely not. As we peel back layers of ourselves to reveal the new, we can’t just abandon our relationships, careers, and life paths to accommodate it. Abby shares beautiful, practical ways to pivot with grace. Let’s get started!
Who Is Abby Schultz?
Abby Schultz is a spiritual mentor who helps women stuck at the crossroads between the familiar and the fantastic. She guides women to stop playing small and to make life-altering changes using small steps that have a big impact.
Abby offers individual and group mentoring and consulting, masterminds, and courses on wealth building, conscious business development, and life purpose activation. As someone who teaches what she knows, Abby holds space for women who want to turn failures into opportunities, uncover their true potential, and learn how to get into alignment no matter what part of the journey they’re on.
How to Pivot Gracefully
Have you ever been in the middle of an endeavor and realized that what you were doing just wasn’t aligned? Have you ever taken a new job, started a new creative project, or started dating someone new only to realize that they were not a frequency match for you? Maybe you dated the person for five months, or maybe it’s been five years and you’re just no longer who you were. So what next?
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we realize we didn’t make the wisest choice. Other times, we just change and grow past things. In both cases, it dawns on us that something isn’t aligned. That we’re meant for more. That we’re not living our soul’s purpose.
This understanding may lead you to think you need to do something drastic immediately. I get it. When you realize what you’re meant to be, you want it now! But that’s not always the best way forward. Big changes can be scary and overwhelming, which may lead you to avoid the changes altogether. In other cases, taking huge steps before you’re ready can create more stress and drama than you really need.
Abby has a solution. Her four-step process — awareness, acceptance, anchoring, and alignment — is a blueprint for making shifts with poise and ease. Before you do anything, stop, breathe, and just be aware:
“Awareness [is] just seeing that … this doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel good anymore. This isn’t a match. [It’s] not trying to change anything, [it’s] not trying to judge anything, because think about it. You’re on a train doing 90 miles an hour going one direction. You’re not going to make any changes at that point. You need to just neutralize where you’re at and just be aware that something isn’t right. Something doesn’t feel good.” – Abby Schultz
When we have big “aha moments,” it’s so easy to get wrapped up into the chaos of our own mind. Suddenly we’ve woken up and it’s confusing and overwhelming. We might go into an internal panic mode (I’ve been there!) and think “Oh my god, what the fuck am I doing?”, and want to throw away a career we’ve spent our whole life building. What’s next if you do that? Are you going to live in a cardboard box? No! Don’t panic. Take a moment to breathe and just take inventory. Look at what’s working and look at what isn’t working. Slow down.
The next step is acceptance, and that requires emotional strength. Maybe we have to accept that a job is no longer in alignment, that a friend is unhealthy for us, or that a relationship needs to change to continue. To accept is to process, to digest where we’re at. We can do this through journaling and any other emotional work. Abby shared that it’s important to avoid judging what you’re noticing as good or bad. So for example, you might need to accept that sometimes things come to an end when they’re supposed to. That there’s nothing wrong with that.
The next step is anchoring. This is where we start to call in what we want. This is where we get clear on what we want, and we do it in a very gentle, simple way:
“Anchoring to me means locking in on that level that you want to be. So perhaps you were down at level two, and that didn’t feel good. Okay. So what feels good? Does level four feel good? If that is, make that your absolute baseline. You will not go below level four. So anchor into what that level feels like, what actually feels good.” – Abby Schultz
So, let’s say you’re unhappy with the dynamic in a friendship. Maybe it’s one-sided, and you feel unseen and unappreciated. Now you’ve had a triggering moment. You’re aware that something needs to change, and you’ve accepted how you got to the place where you’re at without judgment. So where do you want to be? Do you want to see that your friend is as willing to help you out as you are? Is that your baseline?
The last step is alignment. When you are aware, accepting, and anchored into what you want, that’s how alignment starts to happen.
Navigating Alignment and the Unknown
Ok, so you’ve hit the brakes on some unwanted patterns, you’ve accepted how they got there and you know what you want. Now you’re beginning the journey of navigating your new normal and how you want things to be. You can’t possibly know how this new way of living will look. So the only way to navigate getting into alignment is to be comfortable with the unknown. It’s a beautiful journey, and it’s also an experiment, so just know it won’t be perfect.
It’s so easy to want things to be the way you envision them, but you’re still learning. If you adopt an attitude of play, you’ll make the process much more fun. Abby knows all about this:
“There’s fun in failure, and that’s kind of where I thrive. I love this aspect because when you’re not attached to the outcome, it’s so much easier to play. [When you’re making big changes,] you can just take one step. [You can think] ‘Well, what if I stopped answering the texts from this person [who does not make me] feel good?’ You don’t have to have a burn the bridges conversation as soon as you feel that little tingle. Just take the first step.” – Abby Schultz
So, just dip your toes in. It’s taking that one little step. Then see how it feels. If it feels good, take another step. If it doesn’t, switch it up. You don’t have to take on all the problems you’ve identified. Isn’t that a relief?
Since you’re taking small steps, the life you’ve built around you likely hasn’t changed much. You may have a partner, or good friends, or family who are still in your life. So how do you be this new version of you while you’re still living in the reality you’ve built for yourself?
“Realize that not everybody is on the same journey as you are. Not everyone is going to have the same realizations or the same life lessons at the same time that you do. … [So have] compassion for those other people. And if it’s the case of a partner, then let unfold. Because as you … start your journey and start playing in the what if, that gives them permission. And maybe they’re waiting for that permission because maybe they don’t know what [what if] looks like. And as you start to become an example, living your life … that trickles out to everybody else.” – Abby Schultz
Not everyone will understand what’s going on with you, and that’s totally fine. Sometimes the more we try to explain things to people, or try to get them on board, the less they hear us. Let go of control. If you take the right steps, have compassion for your loved ones, and have good communication with them, you’ll minimize relationship disturbances. That said, sometimes people will fall away from your life. Some will rise with you, and others will disappear.
On Doing the Work
Once you get into alignment, everything in your life just gets magically better, right?
Of course, you know that’s not true. The journey of evolution never ends, but the great thing is it gets juicier the deeper and deeper you go. Sometimes you’ll fall out of alignment, but you’ll be able to recognize it sooner and get back on track faster. You’ll also receive the benefits of your work on a much larger scale, whether it’s through wealth, connection, or influence.
Sometimes when we’re on this path, we can become almost consumed by pursuing personal growth. This is great, as long as we’re not using our intellect to bypass our emotions. Abby explained how she catches herself signing up for classes and looking at more powerful, unique workshops. While they look great, she has to control herself:
“[Sometimes] I have to stop and think, ‘Okay, is this something I need? … Is this where I’m at in my journey? Is this my next step? And is this something I’m going to act on? Or is this something that I’m just using as avoidance of actually doing the work that I already know? I have a lot of courses that I’ve taken and that I’ve been a part of. … And I’m learning all this stuff and I’m learning all about myself. But then if I’m not integrating that, I’m not doing myself any good.” – Abby Schultz
Sisters, what do you do to integrate what you’ve learned? Can you catch yourself before you jump into the next big thing? Can you just celebrate what you’ve integrated?
Whether you take baby steps or process deep emotions, you’re in the process of change. Change takes energy! So whether you’re processing a big ego death or pivoting in your career or navigating newness in relationships, take time to nurture and take care of yourself. You’re so fucking worth it!
Are You Ready to Grow with Grace?
Abby has an incredible program called Activate Your Magic starting in December. If you’re feeling called to it, text the word MAGIC to 310-986-6006. You’ll receive all the info you need about the program and keep in contact with her there.
I love you. I see you. Cheers to navigating the unknown with grace. And remember — always choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not?
In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- What abundance means to Abby
- How my transitions, pivots, and growth triggered her for a long time
- Some lessons Abby has learned along the way through her journey into alignment
- The importance of learning how to trust the pivot
- What an ego death can look like for you and Abby’s experience with it while in Costa Rica
- Why you should be leaving space for ego deaths instead of trying to bypass it
- The 4 steps to navigate your way back into alignment when something feels off
- What you can start doing to take the first steps once you know a shift needs to happen
- How to navigate when you don’t have a supportive partner, family, or friends
- What is the best way for you to guide and invite your partner into the work
- Two things Abby is currently navigating through in order to ascend into her next level
- How getting into pure alignment can help you connect with others
- Why you should be focusing on constant reinvention of yourself