Hey, sister! Welcome back to a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, I love ya, I love ya, I love ya!
How are you doing today? I want you to take this moment to give yourself the gift of tuning in and truly asking yourself, “How am I doing?” When we start doing deep work and choose to be fully present, we can receive more breakthroughs, goodness, and magical juiciness. Give yourself the gift of being present and available to abundance.
There’s no un-abrupt way to introduce today’s message, so I’m just going to put it out there. Today we’re talking about “ego death.” It’s not really that dramatic, but it is at the same time. Ego death is about shedding your old self and fully stepping into your leveled-up self. So, if you’ve felt like you’re kind all over the place and don’t know who you are, this message will give you direction and help make sense of all those scattered pieces.
Today, I’m demystifying what ego death is and breaking down its three phases. Whether you’re one of my babes from Ascend and the Abundant Life Experience or you’re growing your business by stepping into a divine feminine heart-centered approach, I want you to know that I crafted this message with YOU in mind.
So, hang in there, divine soul, and keep reading! It’s going to be a wild ride, but it’s going to be a good one.
What Is Ego Death?
Lately, one of the things that has come up a lot in my community and my conversations with clients is feeling like a little baby giraffe — one that’s just been born and learning to walk on its wobbly legs. Baby giraffes are relentless in their attempt to walk because until they learn, they’re vulnerable.
Guess what! That’s exactly what it feels like when you’ve reached a new level of yourself and shed an ego: vulnerable. Instead of shying away from vulnerability, I want to encourage you to lean into it until you learn to embody your new self fully. As you step into your next-level self, ego death occurs. Your old self slips away, — dies — and your new self comes to life.
But let’s back up real quick and talk about ego. Plain and simple, the ego is your identity — who you believe yourself to be. Throughout our spiritual journey, our understanding of ourselves deepens. As our knowledge deepens, our identity shifts, and who we believe ourselves to be needs changes. That’s where ego death comes in.
Ego death is a detachment from all of your old identities — your past beliefs about yourself. It is where old parts of yourself that you’ve looked at with compassion and forgiveness are released. Let’s say that an old piece of you is a part of your puzzle. It doesn’t fit into your puzzle anymore, so it’s time for it to dissolve.
For most people, letting a piece of them dissolve is terrifying for two reasons: First of all, who will you be without that puzzle piece? Secondly, will others still accept you and love you if you let that piece go?
Your current ego — identity, self-perception — tells you to stay as you are because if you let that piece go, you will be vulnerable. It thinks that vulnerability equals pain. But remember how the baby giraffe was vulnerable until it learned to stand? Most of the time, learning to stand in our new self requires vulnerability, too. But it’s worth it, sister.
So when you realize fear overwhelming you, take back your power by acknowledging your ego’s attempt to protect you from being vulnerable. And embrace the feeling of having little baby giraffe legs. As you do, your old self will fall away so that you can more fully embody your new self and show up as a more magical and powerful version of YOU!
Three Phases of Ego Death
My last ego death was back in March. I had spent a month in Ghana living in the most primitive environment and volunteering. I went home for a few days before heading to Bali to host my Ultimate Girls’ Week. And before all that, I had been in Costa Rica, which feels like my soul’s home. All that to say, I had just experienced some of the most incredible and fulfilling weeks of my life. But all that was about to unravel in the first of three phases of ego death.
PHASE 1: Breakdown
At the end of those five magical weeks, I tacked on a few nights at the resort where I led my Ultimate Girls’ Week to absorb everything I had just experienced. When I woke up that first morning, I was a fucking disaster. I mean — full-blown anxiety that I hadn’t experienced since college!
I used all the tools I could think of to find clarity on why I was coming unglued, but nothing helped. I’ve dedicated my life to doing deep work. So when I couldn’t pinpoint what triggered this mental breakdown, I felt even more overwhelmed.
Have you ever had an experience like that? Everything is good, and then you wake up one morning, and you have a meltdown for some reason you can’t put your finger on. Well, that was me like times ten! Ego death often begins with a breakdown of some sort because, whether consciously or not, you realize that your old and new self are in conflict, and you have to choose one.
So, if you’ve come unglued recently for no apparent reason, take a deep breath, and lean into it. Ask yourself if you’ve experienced any recent awakenings or had consistent thoughts of doing things differently that you haven’t acted on.
PHASE 2: Surrender
After trying all the journaling techniques and tools I could think of, I reached out to a girlfriend. She connected me with a healer she had visited while in Bali. I messaged him immediately, and he responded, saying that last night he had someone cancel their appointment for that afternoon. I was so relieved. This healer is usually booked out for months, but the Universe made it such that in the last 48 hours I had left in Bali, the healer had a last minute opening!
He had me sit cross-legged on a pillow and rest my hands comfortably, palms up. Then he began to channel whatever needed to come through. Here’s what he said came up for him:
“You have been denying yourself of your true gifts. You have been putting them in a closet. You have not owned your worthiness for these unique gifts you have and the power you have to truly and deeply transform lives. You are a healer. You are a teacher. You’ve done this work many, many times. You know what you’re doing. Don’t doubt it.” – Healer from Bali
That was the confirmation I needed to hear. Because the truth was, I had been hearing, “Taylor. It’s time to evolve. It’s time to ascend. It’s time to detach from who you currently think you are and how you are showing up because it’s not matching where you’re going.” But it was scary, and I was doing fine, well, until that meltdown in Bali. So when he spoke those things to me, I was ready to step fully into my gifts and release who I thought I was in the past chapter of my business, life, and messaging.
When it comes to ego death, we often already have an idea of what’s coming next for us. It’s that thing we’ve been thinking about doing and longing to do but second-guessing ourselves out of and not doing. A good first step would be to listen and look for things that might confirm what’s been tugging on your soul.
Your most important step in this phase is to surrender and let what happens, happen. Remember, I reached out to the healer, but I didn’t know if he’d have a spot for me. When he shared what he had channeled, I received it without figuring out how it would play out. So, let go of how you think this phase of ego death will unfold and surrender your ideas of what your next step will be so that you can be present and receive what the Universe has to give you.
PHASE 3: Do What Feels Good
Guess what! I woke up the morning after the healer visited feeling like a baby giraffe. My meltdown that turned into surrender turned into, “What the fuck am I doing? How am I supposed to live now? Do I quit everything, move to Africa, and volunteer for the rest of my life?” That’s silly because I am so passionate about what I’m building for my clients and my community, but that’s how emotionally rock-bottom it was for me.
And I’m sharing that so you know how disorienting an ego death can feel. While an ego death ends up being liberating and transformative, in the beginning, it can feel like the world literally gets pulled out from under you. In those situations, the next step is to do what feels good.
For me, that looked like transitioning from being a money mindset business coach into all things lightworker. It looked like reimagining the way I launched my courses. And it looked like me fully embracing my ability to read energy and help people overcome their energetic blocks.
This identity shift allowed Ascend to be born, which ended up being my quickest, most successful, and financially abundant launch ever! Why? Because I was so fearlessly aligned with who I am and the support that I was ready to give my clients. No part of my old self contributed to this launch.
If you’re in phase three of ego death, you might need to do a huge pivot or slightly shift the way you show up on social media. Either way, embrace those giraffe legs, and lean into them, and learn to trust them, saying, “Okay, what step can I take that feels good? What steps can I take to embody this new identity fully?” You can do it. You can take the scary steps. You can trust your wobbly legs. Your leveled-up self has power to give the world, but she needs you to learn how to stand!
Why You Need to Start Doing What Feels Good Today…
Beautiful soul, whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, boss babe, working a nine-to-five job, or just feeling confused, make this your only job: Do what feels good. As you do what feels good, you slowly release your old identity and make room for the new one.
Not all ego deaths have to be a 24-hour transformation in Bali. Sometimes they happen slowly and softly. Either way, we get to move through it. You get to move through it. And no matter where you’re at in your Ascension journey — spirituality, relationships, business — you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. Your only job is to be present in each moment, allowing the next thing to unfold, breakthrough, or bubble up. Don’t go searching for it. Just welcome it and do the next thing that feels good.
Thank you for hanging out with me! If this message resonated with you and you want more — more content, more connection with like-minded women, and more breakthrough — I would love for you to join the Abundant Life Experience. It’s my signature program filled with women, just like you, who want to deepen their work into divine femininity, sexuality, money mindset, chakras, and so much more. Our group calls each month are just so fucking powerful. So please, if you’re like, “I am ready to be supported and meet other sisters who are going through exactly what I’m going through,” go to this website and join us!
If this episode hit home for you and you loved it, the best way to hug me back is to take a screenshot and share it on your Instagram story. Tag me, @iamtaylorsimpson, and tell me what you loved most! It really does feel like a hug when I see you passing this along to your friends on social media!
I love you. I see you. And as always, don’t forget to choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not?
In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- What exactly is “ego death”
- The three phases of “ego death”
- Why you need to embrace feeling vulnerable
- What a baby giraffe has to do with transformation
- How my mental breakdown turned into and life-altering breakthrough
- Why you need to do more of what feels good