Rewriting Your Definition of Success : Episode 290


Hi sister! Welcome back to another episode of A Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, you know I love you! 

Today, we’re going to practice checking in with the highest authority you’ll ever need to answer to — your higher self. The only comparison you really need to care about is the one between how you’re showing up and how you could show up if you were in alignment.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you already know this to be true. But part of our journey is to forget and then remember. So it’s totally natural to get sucked into the matrix of your external world and the values that it holds. You may find that you compare yourself to friends on social media, try to impress your partner or parents, or gauge your worth based on your culture’s definition of success.

But have you ever noticed that when you achieve a goal that was prescribed for you from an external source, you don’t feel satisfied for long? Compare that to when you achieve something that came from you. How did that feel? Did something click into place? Did you evolve? Chances are, you’ll be much more satisfied gauging success this way. So how do you rewrite your definition of success? 

Defining and Aligning with Your Values

The first step to defining success is to get really clear about your values. There are so many people out there who think they know what their values are, but if you asked them to define them, they wouldn’t be able to. Getting clear on them is surprisingly simple and even quick. It’s so worth setting aside a few hours on the weekend or a few minutes every night to journal about your values. Whether it’s about your contributions to the world, what’s important to you in relationships, or how you want to create financial abundance, you need a focal point to move towards. 

Maybe you place a priority on the spiritual aspects of partnership — you want a love that is based on pure, high vibrational connection. Perhaps you value this more than others, who might treat marriage more like a business deal. You might value making money by helping other people. Or perhaps you deeply value honesty and authenticity in your own personality and relationships. 

The next step is to check for congruency. I’m a big believer in making sure you are congruent with your values in all aspects of your life. I find that becoming congruent with the person you are becoming is even more powerful. Have you ever heard the phrase “Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have?” That’s exactly what I mean. 

Make sure you’re listening to media that’s congruent with who you’re becoming. Eat the foods that match who you are evolving into. Communicate with people in the way your evolving self would like to communicate with people. And yes, dress for this future you, whether it’s beautiful feminine skirts or shimmery makeup that draws you into your divine feminine embodiment. 

If you’re evolving into the powerful creator of a business, look at how you interact with others. Are you owning your power or are you coming from a people-pleasing place? Would a badass CEO engage this way? Or maybe you’re shifting into being a healer or teacher. Yet, you consume junk food regularly and have a habit of being mean to your partner. Do you want to continue this way, or do you want to align with the healer you are becoming?

Disconnect from the Brain Virus 

Sisters, this is so critical to do. As I said, we all have the tendency to forget that we’re powerful beings walking our own unique path with our own unique values. This is because we’re constantly bombarded with external stimuli that are distracting us, directing us, and even brainwashing us. 

I call it the matrix, and I call this consciousness of disempowerment a “brain virus.” Whether it’s because of the news, social media, or our relationships, we’re all susceptible to forgetting who we are. When we forget who we are, we forget that we have a higher purpose. We can then fall victim to comparisons, fear, low self-esteem, and more. The way to combat this is through regular check-ins with yourself. Ask yourself what your core values are and then look at your life with a kind but critical eye. Where are you not congruent and how can you become congruent? 

Another way to get clarity on your values is through silencing the noise — in other words, unfollowing draining people on social media, being discerning with what media you consume, and even taking time for a personal retreat of some sort. I’ve been in the jungle for about a month now, first in Peru and then in Costa Rica, sitting with medicines of Ayahuasca, San Pedro, Bufo, and Psilocybin. It’s been absolutely mind-blowing, like several years of therapy condensed into a few weeks. I’ve had awakening after awakening and metaphorically died and been reborn many times during these journeys.

The result is that I cleared out a ton of the noise that has been crowding my energetic space. As I did this, I felt light code after light code dropping into my space. Everything clicked for me. I understood my purpose even more deeply than before. 

You don’t have to take psychedelics to get into a meditative space or to connect with the source. By simply removing yourself from distractions as much as possible, you can make much-needed space to connect with your higher self. As you connect, you’ll remember who you are and why you came here. 

Redefining Success

So what happens when you arrive at this state of remembering again? You might take a look at the actions you’ve been taking with a new perspective. You might start to question things. You might examine your motivations.

What actions have you been taking in your personal and professional life? Are you doing them on autopilot? Let’s say you want to make six figures or start a business. Why?

Are you seeking external validation? It’s so easy to do these days with social media. Just think about how many times you took pictures of a place because you knew they would look great on Instagram. You knew they’d get you a lot of likes and perhaps the envy of your friends and frenemies. But did you actually like the experience you were photographing? Did the experience feel like a success to you? Were you internally motivated?

Of course, that’s just a minor example. Consider looking at the most important aspects of your life with this lens. Take a look at your career, your financial abundance, and your relationships. Do you feel successful in these areas, and if so, is that success true for you?

I know that for me, success means freedom. It means being able to work for myself, when I want, and where I want. It means that I am financially abundant enough to be able to go on retreats and hold retreats without having to budget too much. It’s the luxury of taking time for myself when I need to without having to struggle financially or ask someone for permission. Success for me means being able to empower women. It means not being drained. It means feeling nourished like my cup is full — so full that I can easily nourish other women in ways that are life-changing for them. 

What does success mean for you? Think back to your values. Do you value freedom too? How about authenticity? If so, consider what life circumstances you need in place to have that freedom or that ability to be yourself. 

Where have you fallen out of alignment? Are there goals you’ve been pursuing without even knowing why? If so, that’s okay — it’s just time to remember your power again. Now you get to redirect and refine and bring yourself back into alignment. 

Remember also that as you evolve, so will your values and your definition of success. So maybe a job fit you well five years ago but not so much now. Perhaps at that time, it was in alignment with who you were. That’s another reason why it’s important to do this on a regular basis. I know for me that my core values have stayed relatively the same over time, but they get tweaked and tweaked again. 

Sustaining True Success

It’s a great idea to have a regular practice of checking in with your higher self. Do it daily if you can, or at least weekly. The more regularly you connect to this part of yourself, the more easily you’ll be able to identify when you’re out of alignment and bring yourself back again. 

You can also commit to practices that give you routine and accountability. This might mean committing to a sacred dancing and body/mind practice. It might mean daily journaling practice. You can even try doing a sacred rage practice. I’ve held sacred rage retreats with women here in Costa Rica that are incredibly powerful. We were yelling, screaming, punching a pillow, and getting all of that purifying rage out in a safe container. Going into your shadow like this means that you’re connecting deeply with the truth of who you are. Practices like these deepen your connection to yourself in all your authenticity. As you connect more to your true feelings, your values will become more clear. You can then take actions aligned with this true you.

Sisters, I invite you to disconnect from the matrix and connect to your sovereign self. The changes we’re seeing unfold globally are deconstructing old paradigms so that we can create new ones. It’s an incredibly potent time for us. There’s no time to waste — get on board with your higher self so you can truly see what a powerful creator you are.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t hesitate to let me know! Tag me at @iamtaylorsimpson on Instagram with a screenshot of the episode and your greatest takeaways! 

I love you. I see you. Cheers to remembering that you’re the creator of your life. And remember always choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not? 


In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:  

  • The power of what happens when you put a pause on everything and truly commit to a deeper level of healing
  • Ways to start shifting out of other people’s projections and into what you truly desire
  • How to start getting in tune with who you are and why you’re here
  • Why you may be missing the downloads and codes the universe is sending you
  • The importance of constantly recommitting to your journey 
  • Some practices you can start implementing in order to recommit
  • Getting clear on your personal definition of success