Hi sister! Welcome back to another episode of a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, you know I love you!
Today, I’m super excited because we have a juicy scoop episode full of so many nuggets and takeaways for the sisters ready to take responsibility for their life, their happiness, and the fulfillment of their dreams!
We’ve all heard by now how much mindset mastery is crucial for manifesting the life that you want. Yet, deconstructing old ways of being isn’t easy. We all have so much conditioning, whether it’s from childhood or from society. We’re up against constant drains on our attention and energy, such as the news, which pulls us back into fear and disempowerment again and again.
Our minds are both powerful and set in their ways — habits are hard to break. That’s why I always surround myself with reminders, whether it’s a note on my phone, a quote on my desk, a friend’s Instagram account, or a guest like today.
In this episode, Melissa Machat and I talk about why manifestation doesn’t always work and how your unconscious mind influences you more than you could ever imagine. Uniting your conscious and unconscious mind is the key to taking aligned action. What we need now more than ever is aligned action, not thoughtless action or reactions to the circumstances around us.
Not only does this lead to better results, but it also helps you learn more about yourself. Through Melissa’s mindset hacks and tricks, you’ll come to realize where you’ve been holding yourself back and discover just how much is possible for you. Let’s get started!
Who Is Melissa Machat?
Melissa is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, and the founder of RE-Align Coaching. She teaches entrepreneurs to disengage from behaviors that lead to burnout, connect with their authentic purpose, and overcome internal and external blocks to success. She teaches everything from empowered selling to aligned leadership and is passionate about teaching people to work less and earn more.
As a Master NLP practitioner, Melissa is an expert on the unconscious mind and the power of words. She brings this unique background to her work for her client’s growth and empowerment. As an entrepreneur who has been through burnout herself, she brings a practical approach to her business coaching clients. Above all, Melissa is a true professional and an uplifting healer who is helping shift the status quo from hustle culture to self-care and self-empowerment.
On Mindset Mastery
First, let’s look at a very common way we sabotage our success with our mindset:
There’s a big event coming up where you’ll have the chance to network with influencers, investors, and thought leaders in your industry. As the day approaches, you start feeling more and more nervous. You question yourself, thinking, “Am I really ready for this? How can I be successful in this field when so many other people are? Do I need more training? How will I come across to people? Will they see me as a ditzy blonde?” Your mindset starts to spiral as you imagine all of the ways conversations could go wrong or how you might meet people more credible than you.
Overwhelmed at all you have to do to prove yourself, you procrastinate. The day before the event, you rush to get everything ready. By the time you show up the next day, you’re drained, nervous, and not your best self. You begin to read into everything people say, which makes you more nervous. As a result, you fail to make the connections you were hoping for. The event ends up being a flop for you because it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you see how your mindset deeply affects your life? It’s so easy to go into fear and doubt, but luckily it’s also pretty simple to shift your mindset and manifest your desires.
“Get the focus back on the positive because our brain doesn’t know the difference [between] reliving … past experiences [and living in the now.] … [This] was most of my life … [I was] worrying about the worst-case scenario, and [I was] severely anxious. I was replaying these horrible things [in my mind], … and my body didn’t even know the difference. It wasn’t real, [it was] just in my head … But my body was reacting like it was actually happening.” – Melissa Machat
Your mind and especially your unconscious mind are so incredibly powerful. It’s a tool we’re all learning to master, and it’s not easy to undo all of our programming. When we’re trying to shift our mindset, it’s very important to be gentle with ourselves. Force and aggression make things worse.
“Language matters. … I find that when we’re putting things off when we’re procrastinating, we tend to use negative words like lazy … sloppy … [and] unmotivated. [We think] ‘I must not want it badly enough’ … We label it with all this negativity, shame, [and] guilt [and think] ‘Oh, I just need more accountability. I need more discipline to force me to do something.’ I look at that like, well, first of all, now you’re beating yourself up because you’re not taking action, but [also] let’s figure out what’s really happening.” – Melissa Machat
When Melissa catches herself in a negative spiral, she uses a four-step process to refocus. It consists of four questions.
- What is causing me to feel this way? This one is simple. You might be feeling nervous about something…why? Are you afraid of saying the wrong thing? Are you worried about how you’ll be perceived by others? Are you feeling underqualified? Keep it simple — ask yourself, straight up, what is causing you to feel this way.
- What outcome am I avoiding? This doesn’t have to be negative. You could be avoiding failure or success. Success might mean that you have to do more work. Or that you will have to take bigger risks.
- What do I actually want? Use the previous question to clarify what you want. Focus on that. When we get stuck in a negative spiral, focusing on what we don’t want, we often neglect to refocus on what we do want. This might take time for you to answer.
- What’s the first step to making that happen? This is what we call inspired action. When you take actions based on positive desires that truly reflect your spirit, you are acting intentionally and thoughtfully. So take your time with this first action step.
Another great tip? Always check-in to see if you’re overcomplicating things. You might be making something bigger than it really is. You might be blowing it out of proportion. Simplifying and clarifying can go a long way.
Getting Clear on What You Want
In a world saturated with other people’s ideas and opinions, knowing what you as a spirit want is your secret weapon. Only you can tell you what you want and need. While it’s great to take inspiration from mentors, you need to forge your own path eventually.
Getting clear on what you want empowers you to live life intentionally. You can start every day in creation mode, not in reaction mode. You don’t live at the effect of something external, you live driven by your inner being.
Don’t look to social media or your friends for what being successful means. Don’t rely on your parents to tell you what career to pursue. And don’t forget that your wants and desires can change over time, so do regular check-ins with yourself. Melissa shared what this looked like for her.
“[I asked myself] ‘What’s my definition of success? What do I want my life to look like? What do I want my schedule to look like? What are my strengths? What’s my … happy place? … Why am I doing things that are not lighting me up or not in my zone of genius? Why am I worried about a quote to post? … That is not where my energy needs to be.’ [It was great to slow] down long enough to … think about my life and what I want it to look like.” – Mellissa Machat
Sisters, when’s the last time you checked in with yourself about what you want? Are you in alignment with it? If not, what can you do about this? Are there perhaps reasons you’re not succeeding in certain areas of your life — perhaps because you’re pursuing things that aren’t really important to you?
You can get really micro with this and design your own lifestyle. You can use your blueprint of desires to decide how you’ll spend each day, what activities you say yes to, which ones you say no to, where you go and with whom. It’s time to live intentionally — we don’t have time to waste!
Aligning Your Conscious and Unconscious Mind
Alignment is a big buzzword these days, but it doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. What does alignment mean to you? For Melissa, it means all parts of you are in harmony. You walk your talk. You follow through. Your conscious mind and your unconscious mind are united.
Do you ever wonder why your manifestation techniques don’t work? Is there something that you know you want, but somehow it’s always just out of reach?
When your desires are always just out of reach, what do you do about it? If you’re like most people, you go into the masculine action-oriented mode. You try to do more. You try to force things or control things. You might beat yourself up for not being motivated. You might call yourself lazy. According to Melissa, none of these approaches work, at least not for long. You don’t need more motivation — you need to look at the deeper root of why you are in resistance.
“What we don’t see in our unconscious are the roots beneath the surface [and] how deep they go. [We don’t see] how wide they are … You don’t see how much it impacts [you], how much it affects [you], how deep it goes … Our unconscious [consists of] our beliefs, behavior, self-esteem, or self-talk [whether] negative or positive. All these are our patterns, … all the conditioning from growing up or [from] programming.” – Melissa Machat
Isn’t that the key? If you’ve been with me for a while, you know how much credit I give to the unconscious. It’s such a vast space that holds all of our memories, where we’ve been, what we’ve done — everything that our conscious minds couldn’t possibly contain. When we assume that what we consciously desire is all there is to us, we’re missing a huge piece of the puzzle.
“Our unconscious determines if you’re going to take action or not. [It determines if] you’re going to do something. … If you’re out of alignment, you say you’re going to do something, [and] you don’t do it. Your unconscious is actually preventing you from taking action for who knows how many different things. So to me … the start is, ‘Hold on a second — where am I saying I’m going to do something [and] I’m not doing it? It’s not because I suck. It’s not because something’s wrong with me. It’s not because I need more discipline or force or accountability … Let me get to the root of what’s actually preventing me from taking action.’ Ask those questions … because then the real answers come up.” – Melissa Machat
Sisters, stop beating yourselves up for not taking the actions you’ve committed to and start doing some self-examination. I promise you that even if you start small, you’ll get miles past where you were before. Don’t be afraid to look at your shadow. We all have one. We have self-sabotaging habits, limiting beliefs, and behaviors that we’ve kept way past their shelf life. When you notice one, have the attitude of “Now I get to do some work to clear this.” It’s all part of the journey.
Are you ready to experience Melissa’s unique style of coaching? Be sure to check out her website to learn more about her offerings. You’re so fucking worth it, sister!
Remember, I love you. I see you. Cheers to taking aligned, empowered action. And remember — Always choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not?
In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- What does abundance mean to Melissa
- How Melissa transitioned from the hustle for abundance mindset into the surrender mindset
- A process you can use to navigate through limiting stories when they come up
- The questions Melissa uses to shift out of misalignment and navigate through feeling stuff
- Some things that may cause procrastination and how to overcome and navigate through it
- Why getting clear on what you want your journey to look like is crucial to your success
- How you can start differentiating what you want vs. what everyone else thinks it should look like
- Shifting out of the mindset of valuing your worth based on the number of sales
- One of the most common roadblocks keeping women from making more money and stepping into abundance
- An exercise you can start doing in order to become aware of your subconscious values and start taking aligned action
- Some of the most common subconscious beliefs that stop women from taking the next step
- The importance of getting clear on what you want and then taking one tiny step at a time
- How you can start making your business and life less complicated
What’s holding you back from growing your business? Take the quiz.
The 5 Questions to ask yourself to shift back into aligned action:
- What is causing me to feel this way?
- What outcome am I avoiding?
- What do I actually want?
- What’s the first step to making this happen?
- What triggered me that I now get to work on?
Connect with Melissa: