What to Do when Someone Isn’t “Waking Up” with You: Episode 247

Hey, sister! Welcome back to a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, I love ya, I love ya, I love ya!

Do you have someone in your life — a friend or significant other — who isn’t on the same frequency as you? You really like that person and can see so much potential in them, but their thinking just isn’t quite there. I’ve been there. My person was Johnny, my now-husband.  

When I first met him, he did not have the same money mindset as me. I wanted to be like, “Yo, dude, come on. Why do you think like that?” But then I remembered, “Wait a minute. It’s not my job to control where he’s at in his journey.” So I let go, and I just cared about him. I stayed in my own lane and observed him on his own journey. Eventually, he observed me back. I observed him, and then he observed me. And then he caught up. 

That’s the breakthrough I want to chat about today. We get to be a part of this phenomenon by giving the people we care about space to receive their own breakthrough medicine. This magic happens when we are so fully present in our own lives that the Universe can orchestrate everything the best way possible for us and those we love.

If you’re longing to see someone in your life level-up or just be free from worrying about someone else’s journey, this message is perfect for you. I’m sharing my two-step process to appreciate your loved ones as they are, prioritize your journey, and give the person you care about space to experience their own growth.

Sis, it worked for Johnny and me, and it worked for the client I just got off the phone with. To be clear, this doesn’t magically raise someone’s frequency. Instead, it gives the Universe space to do what it does best while you focus on becoming the best version of yourself. 

Are you ready for this? Then let’s dive in!

How to Achieve Massive Breakthrough with Self-Reflection

Sometimes we get so hung up on wanting our loved one to be where we are that we forget to honor their journey and how far they have already come. Other times we never stop to consider whether or not we should be the ones moving on. And still other times, we think it’s our responsibility to show our loved ones what could be possible if they hurried up and changed their thinking.

Sis, can you see how all those thoughts are focused on the other person? All that energy is focused outward. Instead of being present and investing energy in your journey, you’re spending energy on theirs. In situations like these, self-reflection is where all the juice is. It’s where you get to step back and see the person as they are and what they bring into your life. Self-reflection also gives you the space to separate your desires or frustrations from your purpose and truth. 

Here are the three questions I ask myself when I’m hung up on wanting others to catch up to me:

Question #1: What gift is this person bringing to my life right now? Remember, every person — the cashier at the grocery store, your partner, your kids, your crazy neighbor — is in your life to be a teacher. In some way, they are each a reflection of yourself so that you can see the parts of you that need attention and healing. It’s up to you to find the gift that every person brings to your life and put it to use. 

Question #2: What do you want from this scenario? Do you not want to feel frustrated? Are you tired of listening to your friend’s low-vibe rambles? Do you want what’s best for your loved one? Identify what you want from this scenario and embrace it. Say it out loud. 

Question #3: What are you learning in this scenario? Are you learning to release control? Are you seeing that people can be incredible and still not have the same money mindset as you? Are you being reminded that not all journeys happen in the same order or at the same pace? Are you being challenged to trust the Universe? Challenge yourself to find the lesson you can draw from this situation.

I find that when my clients or I finish answering these questions, everything boils down to, “I just want to control how other people are showing up.” Have you ever felt that way? Like, you see someone you care about showing up differently than you had hoped, and you’re like, “Come on!” Maybe you’re on the self-development path, and you’re changing, but your partner isn’t. And you’re like, “Come on, get on my path already. Are you journaling? Aren’t you meditating? Isn’t all that stuff working?” 

You’re asking, “Why aren’t you where I want you to be?” I get it. I’ve been there! You’re tasting how great life can be when you raise your frequencies, and you want it for the people you love. But eventually, your intense desire for them to change gets you into this really weird space of wanting to control other people’s behavior. Especially when you care about them deeply, it’s natural — you want the best for those around you. But, sister, that’s not your job. Your job is to stay in your lane and love the other person as they are. 

Now, I know that’s so much easier said than done, so I’ve got an affirmation in the next section to help you shift from controlling to caring.

How Letting Go Can Be What Helps People Step into Higher Frequencies

When we’re further along in our journey than someone else, we tend to look for ways to inspire them and show them their potential. That’s not completely wrong, but I think we can do better. Inspiring someone and helping them see their potential can feel judge-y. It’s almost like you’re saying, “You’re good, but you could be really good if you were more like me.”

So, instead of trying to be an example, strive to be a safe place. Shift your energy from controlling to caring by saying this affirmation, “I can care and watch at the same time.” Say it again, out loud to yourself, “I can care and watch at the same time.”

The art of observation is when we simply observe someone’s behavior from a place of detachment because we care. Watching without expectations is more powerful and potent than us trying to force something onto someone or trying to control how they’re showing up. Why? Because it frees up space for the Universe, God — whoever your higher power is — to do their work, which they’re really, really good at.

So pull up any example of someone in your life that you want to hop on the train with you. Now, energetically release them. You still care about them. You still love them. But from now on, you’re going to observe them. Just watch them from a place of non-judgment. Release anything in yourself that wants to control their behavior. Allow them to be on their unique path. 

One of the things that happens when you truly step back and just observe someone without force is that they energetically feel the lift. They might not be conscious of it, but they will feel freedom when they’re in your presence. They will go from feeling smothered to feeling like, “Okay. I’ve got a little more breathing room to allow what needs to come up and receive the downloads.” 

This is what I see happen over and over again when someone energetically releases their grip on how they want their loved one to show up — just because you stepped out of your low-vibe self and into your high vibe self by shifting from a state of controlling to caring. 

Why You Need to Stop Controlling Your Loved Ones and Start Caring Today…

One more thing before we wrap up: Think of that person again that you want so badly to be on the train with you. Release them. See yourself caring about them and watching them, but let go of your desire for them to act or think in a certain way. This time YOU should feel an energetic lift. You should feel lighter. Why? Because you’re no longer pouring your energy into someone else’s journey that you can’t control and weighing them down. 

By choosing to focus on what you can control — staying in your lane, running your race, and honoring your truth with everything in you — you become the best example possible. As your loved one sees you be fierce in your truth and undeniably present, they will be inspired. They’ll feel the freedom you’ve created for yourself and them, and they will want it. Eventually, they will end up on the same frequency as you. And if not, that’s okay, too. It’s just an opportunity for you to go back to the questions we started with, “What gift is this person bringing to my life? What do I want from this scenario? And what am I learning?” 

Sister, you have incredible and powerful energy for healing and breakthrough woven through every fiber of your being. Don’t spend it on things you can’t control. Love your people and love yourself by honoring your truth and focusing on your journey. The Universe has the rest covered, I promise! 

As always, thank you so much for listening! If this felt good to you today, like it was a little kick in the ass, pay it forward! I know it might seem like a small thing to share this content, but it makes all the difference because we are in this together. It’s not just me chatting with you. It’s all of us. So screenshot this and share it on Instagram. Tag me @iamtaylorsimpson and let me know what you loved! Who knows, maybe the person that you want so badly to get on the train with you will see it and listen. 

I love you. I see you. And I can’t wait to chat with you again soon. So until next time, choose happiness, because, well, why the fuck not?