Hey, sister! Welcome back to a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, I love ya, I love ya, I love ya!
Have you ever not done something — passed up a speaking gig, skipped a party, or not hired a coach — because you told yourself you weren’t good enough, pretty enough, or had enough money? I have. I played small in life for so long because I was afraid that if I went for something I really wanted and failed, people would judge me. Once I got over that fear, I was afraid if I had incredible success people would judge me for being snobby or looking down on them.
These are real thoughts that a lot of us have. These kinds of thoughts keep us from experiencing the fucking good things in life. But here’s the thing, sis, most of those real thoughts aren’t true. They are lies!
So, put your seatbelt on, because today we’re talking about FEAR! That’s right, I’m dishing out some tough love and magical downloads that have helped me move from a place of fear to living in freedom!
If you read the word “fear” and immediately thought, “Holy crap, this message isn’t for me. I’m afraid of everything — judgment from others, success, spending money, love, being seen, embracing my sexuality — but, I’m also tired of being afraid desperately craving the ability to shift into a life of freedom.” Then, here’s what I want you to know. You’re in the right place, this message IS for you, and you are not alone.
I’m writing this post to give you a peek at the fears that kept me from stepping into my highest self and how I overcame them to get where I am today. So, stick with me, sis, and you’ll have the three questions you need to ask yourself if you’re ready to move from fear and to freedom. We’re in this together, so let’s get started!
The Fear of Failure or Success
How familiar does your everyday life feel? Take a breath and think about that. What are the thoughts that run through your brain when you wake up every morning? How do you feel about life? What are your normal habits? What kind of conversations do you have? How familiar and routine is your day — your life? Do you spend your evenings mostly the same, too? You know, hit the gym after work, eat dinner, scroll Instagram, and fall asleep later than you had planned.
Familiar, predictable, mundane — that’s how life was for me when I was stuck fearing judgment from others, failure, and success. Anytime I would think, “Gosh, I know I’m meant to be doing so much more than I’m currently doing.” My mind would immediately jump to, “What if I fail? I’m not really sure what the first step is. Heck, I don’t even know what I could be doing more? And if I go for more and fail, then I would be wasting everything I’ve worked so hard to accomplish at this nine-to-five job.”
Day-in and day-out I would have this little argument with myself. Eventually, I fell into the cycle of avoiding anything that brought up any fear of failure. I was comfortable, so instead of moving past the fear, I avoided it. Have you ever done that? Have you ever wanted to invest in a coach, speak your truth, or attend a fun event, but you didn’t because it was easier to stay comfortable than face your fear or someone else’s judgment?
What about the fear of success? For me, fear of success looked like, “If I make a lot of money, will I know what to do with it? What will people think of the way I handle my money? What if I make a bunch of money, then something goes wrong and I lose it all?!” These thoughts kept me in my comfort zone.
Instead of putting myself out there to receive success, financial abundance, and appreciation, I stayed safe and reasoned, “If I don’t have as much it wouldn’t hurt as bad if I lost it.” Fearing success means you’re only focused on the possible negative outcomes. And you end up not only repelling success and others’ judgment but also all the opportunities to impact others that come with success.
If you’re ready to be real with yourself and take steps out of fear and into freedom ask yourself these questions: How familiar does my life feel? What am I avoiding? Answering those questions is the beginning of stepping into the version of yourself who speaks their truth and chases their dreams!
A question to ask yourself: How familiar does my life feel? What am I avoiding?
Have Your Fears Become Your Identity?
Sister, I don’t want you to feel bad about having fears. We all have them. Fearful feelings are part of life. And in many ways they serve us. We’re supposed to be afraid of crossing the street without looking or walking in a creepy alleyway alone at night, right? But you know what we do with those healthy fears? We let them move us to take healthy action — looking both ways before crossing a street and getting a buddy to walk with at night. Instead of walking into danger oblivious, those fears steer us away from danger. We need that kind of fear.
Fear becomes dangerous when we let it steer us away from taking healthy action. Let me point out that just because you’re not taking healthy action doesn’t mean you’re taking extremely unhealthy action, like drugs, overeating, and or yelling at your friends. It could just mean you’re being lazy, staying in your comfort zone, and muting your truth. In other words, you could simply be getting comfortable with a mediocre life. But do you really want a boring, mediocre, “this will do” life? Just like me, you were meant for more. And let me tell you sis, your familiar comfort zone is not the more you were meant for.
If we’re gonna leave our familiar comfort-zones in pursuit of more, we need to identify the fears we have allowed to become our truth. In this case, when I talk about “our truth,” I’m talking about the things we believe about ourselves in the core of who we are — the things we say to ourselves about ourselves without even thinking.
Fears become our truth all the time because we work so hard to avoid them. In our effort to never face them we end up thinking about them all the time. We don’t challenge them. We don’t push past them. Eventually, they become our truth because we’ve let them keep us in one place for so long.
So the question you need to ask yourself is: How much have I allowed fear to become my truth?
Have you allowed …
…“I can’t afford that,” to become your truth?
…“Well, I don’t want to be judged, so I won’t put myself out there,” to become your truth?
…“I’m just a shy insecure person,” to become your truth?
When you can identify which fear you’ve allowed to define you, you can start breaking out of your familiar comfort zone and rewrite who you are! Remember, just because it’s familiar, doesn’t mean it’s true! In the same way that you built your truth by reinforcing fearful thoughts with your actions, you can rewrite your truth by taking actions aligned with your highest self.
A question to ask yourself: In what way have I allowed fear to become my truth?
Why Your Comfort Zone Isn’t As Safe As You Think
If you’re still not ready to leave your comfort zone, let me ask you this: How far will staying in your familiar comfort zone get you?
I know staying in my comfort zone didn’t get me very far. It actually got me far in the way of unhealthy habits that I had to spend months digging myself out of. I stayed in my nine-to-five job. I developed a lot of inner rage which landed me in an anger management course. I created an addiction to food which led to enrolling myself in overeaters anonymous. Instead of journaling and getting to the root of my pain, I decided shoving Oreos in my mouth was more comfortable.
Babe, I’m not saying you’re lame for wanting to stay comfortable. I’ve been there! But I am saying that staying in those places were toxic, didn’t get me anywhere, and kept me in a cycle of behaviors that made me feel stuck. I wasn’t free. And the steps I took to get free, YOU can take, too. Your DNA is laced with everything you need to stand up to fear, leave your comfort zone, and walk-in glorious freedom and abundance.
That’s why when I hear people say, “I can’t afford that. I wish I could, but I don’t have enough experience,” I want to shake them. It’s not true! And every time they say those things they’re perpetuating the comfort zone they’re in. Every time you say, “I wish I could do that,” or, “I just can’t afford it,” you’re turning your fear into your truth! You’ve never pushed yourself past the comfort zone to be able to expand yourself, to open yourself up to receiving more.
So, if that’s one of your “truths,” no wonder you can’t afford anything! Get out of your damn comfort zone, sis! That “truth” is not serving you anymore.
It’s okay to get to the point where you’re sick and tired of your life because that’s when you’re going to shift and leave your comfort zone. I know, because that’s when I shifted and left my comfort zone. I got so sick and tired of these stupid limiting beliefs that never served me, so I committed to getting out of my comfort zone. I started putting myself in situations that would get me judged. I invested in myself to help me expand. And you know what? I started showing up in my truth! And when you show up, the ROI is incredible. Because when you show up, the universe shows up for you.
When’s the last time you showed up in a terrified, excited, nervous, almost-gonna-throw-up kinda way? If it hasn’t been in the last week, then you are making your comfort zone — your familiar space and routine — your truth. As a result, you’re not expanding, ascending, and becoming your highest self.
You guys, the Ascension process is happening all around us. Activation codes are being downloaded to anyone willing to go outside their comfort zone. If you want to ascend and embody more you are destined for, you need to be willing to be uncomfortable. Because that’s when the Universe shows up for you and you start receiving everything you’ve ever wanted — more money, more joy, more happiness, more abundance. That’s just how it works.
Face your fears. Lean into them just like you would check both ways before crossing a street. Decide whether or not the fear is serving you. If it’s not serving you, let it go. Stop living in denial by pretending your fear doesn’t exist and staying comfortable. Your fear can exist. But it doesn’t have to keep you stuck. Honor it and let it go.
A question to ask yourself: How can I get out of my comfort zone?
Why You Need to Leave Your Comfort Zone Today
I want to leave you with a thought that has rocked my world in one of the best ways: What if fear is just simply a sign that we’re not connected with our inner guidance — our higher self? What if anytime we experience fear it’s actually an invitation to get more in tune with our intuition? Remember, fear isn’t dangerous — it’s not what keeps us stuck. It’s what we choose to tell ourselves about the fear that’s dangerous or keeps us stuck. So, let’s make this our new mantra for turning fear into freedom:
Fear, I honor you for coming up because you are my guidance system, but if I fall prey to the familiarity of you and repeat the same thoughts and actions, you’re going to keep me from being everything I’m meant to be. So, Fear, I see you and honor you, but I don’t need you right now.
I’m so incredibly grateful that you took this journey with me today! I can’t wait to see you shine as you leave your comfort zone and show up as the goddess that you are. If this was something you needed, pay it forward by sharing a screenshot of this on social media and tagging me @iamtaylorsimpson on Instagram. You never know which of your friends might need a fresh perspective on fear and a loving push to get out of their own way!
I will talk to you on the next one and, don’t forget, choose happiness, because, well, why the fuck not?
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In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- How to overcome fear
- Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s true
- You ARE that type of person that deserves the success
- You ARE that type of person that has the money, love, and support
- How to push yourself out of your comfort zone
- Activation codes are available all around us
- Changing your self talk to honor your path
- Fear is just a sign
- The universe rewards you when you listen and honor your highest self
- Applying the lessons moving forward