Welcome back to another episode of a Taylored Adventure to Happiness. If you are new, welcome! If you are a regular, I love you, I love you, I love you!
Before we dive into today’s beautiful conversation, I want to offer you a moment to check in with yourself. How are you doing? I do this before every single Ascend and ALE call. I just invite all the women to check in with themselves. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being freaking amazing and 1 being, “I want to go back to bed,” where are you?
Whatever answer comes up for you, allow it. Honor how you’re feeling without judgment and choose to be fully present. Be yourself with all the real experiences you’re having right now. Let it be okay because it is!
Speaking of judgment and compassion, today’s guest, Kelly Chase, brings nuggets of gold to this conversation on all of that. She gets raw and real about her experience on the popular Netflix show Love is Blind. Kelly is super transparent about the ups and downs of being a reality star and how they awakened her to her need for healing and pushed her to own her truth.
I know you’re going to see a lot of your own wounds and wins mirrored in her story.
So, without further ado, let’s dive in!
Who Is Kelly Chase?
I originally met Kelly at our mutual friend, Kayla’s, event. Kelly was just such a bright light and brought so much energy, so I immediately knew she was “my kind of people.” Funny story: My husband and I pretty much only watch documentaries on Netflix — I know, we’re like old people — but I decided to give Love is Blind a try one night and got totally into it. Basically, it’s a social experiment where guys and girls build a relationship and propose without seeing each other. While watching this show, I suddenly looked at my husband and said, “Wait a minute. I actually know that girl!”
I was so surprised! I knew the girl — Kelly Chase — in the reality TV show I was watching! What a fun gift from the Universe!
Today, Kelly is a podcast host and business and mindset coach who helps women create the life they crave. It all started in 2017 when she decided she was tired of accepting rejection from everyone, including herself. She left her nine-to-five job, hired a coach, and committed to fearlessly being herself.
Even though almost anyone who meets her wants to talk about Love is Blind, Kelly said she isn’t tired of it because the experience was such a formative moment in her life.
“I love life chats, but it’s just funny because so many people are like, ‘Oh, you’re probably sick and tired of talking about [Love is Blind]. And I’m like, ‘No, it was like such an integral part of my life. … It’s part of my story.’” – Kelly Chase
In this interview, you won’t only learn about Kelly’s experience on Love is Blind, but you’ll also learn about why it’s important to trade people-pleasing for opening your personal power. And we will also discuss how to put yourself out there and own your truth!
If you’re ready to find freedom from old wounds, live your purpose, and step into your truth with goddess magic, keep reading!
Why You Need to Trade People-Pleasing for Owning Your Personal Power
I think all of us can agree that we struggle with people-pleasing from time to time, if not most of the time. Whether we notice it or not, this habit often robs us of experiencing deep joy and living out our truth. Don’t get me wrong, there is beauty and power in serving others. Most of you know that my heart belongs to Nicaragua and serving those people! But pleasing people is not the same as serving them. And pleasing people comes at a high cost.
Kelly struggled with people-pleasing in multiple areas of her life for years. For the reality TV star Kelly Chase, people-pleasing showed up strongly through her 20s and even early 30s in her hustle to make money.
While working a nine-to-five job that sucked the life out of her, she was consistently working side jobs and bartending on the weekend. In 2013, she became a certified health coach. Between her day-job and hustling on the weekends, she somehow found herself deep in debt and disconnected from herself.
In Kelly’s effort to be successful, she signed up for the world’s version of success, which is “busy and wealthy.” Eventually, the cycle of grinding during the week and partying with any free time turned into a weekly routine. It was a cycle that didn’t end until the end of 2017.
At the end of 2017, Kelly started listening to podcasts, doing deep spiritual work, journaling, and taking on health coaching clients.
“I came to health coaching for a while and fitness training. I wasn’t getting messages along the lines of, ‘Gosh, you’re changing my life … you’re making me trim,’ or whatever the case may be body-wise. [The messages were] like, ‘I just feel more confident and sexy in front of my husband. I have more energy to play with my kids. I just have more energy in life. I just feel so good about myself.’ And I just felt this like shift inside of me.” – Kelly Chase
As this shift was happening and Kelly started questioning her purpose, the filming for Love is Blind took place. Kelly said filming Love is Blind was an emotionally charged experience that really pushed her to continue the personal development that she had started previously.
“I learned so much about myself [filming Love is Blind]. One of the bigger lessons that I learned was, [whatever] you think you’re communicating, you need to communicate [it] even more.” – Kelly Chase
The second big thing Kelly learned was about rejection, vulnerability, and healing. SPOILER ALERT! Kenny and Kelly didn’t end up getting married. While not getting married had been a mutually agreed upon outcome, Kelly and Kenny had made plans to date after the show. On the last day of filming, Kenny told Kelly that he was emotionally unavailable and no longer interested in dating.
Kelly said that news rocked her world and made her feel unwanted, but it also led to one of the best decisions of her life!
“I took [Kenny’s emotional unavailability] as ‘he doesn’t want me either.’ I was the most vulnerable I’ve ever been with a man ever in my entire life. And he just rejected me too. What the hell? … So yeah, I was just like in this really, really chaotic place in my life after we got done filming, and like three weeks later, I whipped out my credit card. … [And] invested in Erin Porter. [That investment] radically changed my life.” – Kelly Chase
Working with coach Erin Porter helped Kelly understand why she kept feeling rejected, disconnected from herself for the last ten years, and dissociating herself from play, fun, and pleasure. As soon as she experienced that breakthrough, she knew she needed to pivot her business from health coaching to mindset coaching.
Why Alignment Is a Crucial Ingredient to Pivoting Your Business
Making the shift from being a health coach to mindset coach ended up being pretty rough because she had already established herself as a health coach. Instead of building her business from the energy of panic — “I need a client, so I can pay rent this month” — Kelly decided to get a nine-to-five job.
“At the end of 2019, … I went and got another nine-to-five job because I hadn’t had really money coming in. So I was like, ‘I don’t want to run my business solely focused on the stress of I-need-these-clients-to-pay-my-bills. I don’t ever want to run on that energy.’ … I did get the corporate job, and I’m actually still there. … I really do enjoy it.” – Kelly Chase
Kelly said for the first four months after pivoting her business and Love is Blind aired, she was running it all from a place of people-pleasing. Quite frankly, it wasn’t working, and she wasn’t inspired. One day, she happened to coach one of her clients on boundaries and living in alignment with those boundaries. After that session, Kelly decided to take her own advice, and she started to feel alive and aligned with her purpose!
“I promised [myself] like every month since August [to have my boundaries in place], and I am more [aligned] and … in my power. … There’s just like something came over me, and I can’t describe it … [where] real alignment happened, and I was like, ‘I don’t care what anybody thinks of me anymore. I’m going to post pictures of me in lingerie. If you have a problem with it, that’s a you-problem. Not a me-problem.’” – Kelly Chase
I love Kelly’s story of evolution, from disconnection and partying to living in alignment and truly enjoying life. That’s the true beauty and power and trading people-pleasing for owning your personal power — you can let people think whatever they want while you go build a fucking epic life!
How to Put Yourself Out There and Own Your Truth
Title Page Even after we’ve learned to live from a place of personal power instead of pleasing others in our daily choices, it often pops up again anytime we’re about to step out of our comfort zone. This could be something as simple as sharing a post on social media or as life-changing as starting a business and ending a relationship. It’s natural, but that doesn’t mean we should give in to our people-pleasing tendencies.
Kelly said she helps her clients navigate people-pleasing by asking them this question:
“Who do you really want to be? If you’re allowing others judgments or your assumption that someone’s going to judge you to literally control the outcome of who you [are] being in your life, then obviously we need to do a little soul searching and dig deep into where that fear is actually coming from. … I always tell my clients, ‘Your message is more important than how you look.’” – Kelly Chase
Kelly went on to explain that she has friends tell her she’s oversharing on social media. And, when she occasionally shares a message without makeup and her hair done, she’s had friends tell her to put makeup on next time because she looked cray.
But Kelly said she decided to show up to encourage and inspire other people with her story. She’s not showing up to model her makeup or impress her friends. Kelly is showing up to help women heal and create the life they crave. So, instead of worrying about what people who might judge her will think and say, she thinks about the one person who might be helped by her message.
“There [are] so many people that don’t talk about certain things because they think they’re the only one that’s experienced it at night … or [they] think, ‘Well, my story is not as grand as that person’s.’ … I’m just such an advocate [that I] don’t create those assumptions that people are gonna think of [me in] a certain way. … I just know that something about my story is going to change someone’s life. And that is that. That’s why I do what I do.” – Kelly Chase
I love that Kelly highlighted the power of just showing up no matter what you look like and what it means to be an advocate. I’m an advocate, too. I think when you think of yourself as more of an advocate than an influencer in the social media world, it gives you the freedom to show up for the benefit of others instead of yourself.
When you’re in the mindset of being an advocate, you’re thinking about, “What does my audience need to hear? What do they need to receive?” When you’re in the mindset of an influencer, you’re thinking, “How do I need to show up, and what do I need to say to get the most engagement?” Shifting from an influencer’s mindset to an advocate’s mindset can have a powerful and life-changing impact on how you approach social media and the support you offer to others!
Sister, if you’re reading this, here is your permission to take that messy action. Like, literally! If you look messy, who cares? Get on there and share, because just as Kelly was saying, someone listening needs your medicine and needs to hear the message you almost didn’t share because your makeup wasn’t on point.
Why You Need to Listen to This Kelly Chase Podcast Episode Right Now…
Kelly is great at reminding everyone around her to be human while unashamedly standing in their truth, and today’s interview was no exception! If you liked what you read here, make sure you listen to the whole interview where we discuss how to respond to critical DMs on social media and what Kelly learned about the vulnerability from filming Love is Blind.
If you want more of Kelly’s magic and medicine in your life, make sure you connect with her on Instagram, subscribe to her podcast, and join her Facebook community! You can learn more about her story on her website and check out her premier program Goddess Magic — a program for women who are ready to break through limiting beliefs and create the life they crave.
And for those of you who have been following me for a while and wondering when the doors to Ascend will reopen, you’re in luck! Ascend, my signature membership program is reopening for enrollment at the end of this month (February 2021).
I created Ascend with the vision of giving women a safe container of community and educational resources for everything woo — from sexuality, childhood wounds, clearing chakras, re-writing money stories, and shifting from toxic masculine energy to vibrant feminine energy. If this sounds like something you’ve been looking for, hop on the waiting list to be the first to know when enrollment officially opens — I’d love to have you join us!
As always, thanks for joining me today. If you found any healing or inspiration from today’s message, please share this with a friend. You can just take a screenshot of this and post it on Instagram. Tag us both — Kelly, @chaselifewithkelly, and me, @iamtaylorsimpson — and let us know what your biggest takeaway was!
I love you. I see you. Until next time, choose happiness because, well, why the fuck not?!
In Today’s Episode You Will Learn:
- How Kelly impacts the world
- Paralyzed in the people-pleasing
- Working through a self internal dialogue
- Picking your partner without the inner stories
- Becoming more aware
- Not being ready for your perfect partner
- The dark side of being in a reality tv show
- Pivoting and putting yourself first
- How to handle when people question your boundaries
- What happens when you’re in alignment
Connect with Kelly: